23-year-old woman refuses to give back necklace that ex-boyfriend gave her on her birthday, '[He said] it "feels wrong" that I'm still wearing it'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 11, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

When a relationship ends, it can be difficult to figure out how to divide up your once-shared life. If you lived together, there's the question of who gets the furniture or who keeps the dog. But even without cohabitation, there are still all sorts of little things to divvy up: hoodies, books, and yes, gifts! Gifts blur the line between "mine" and "yours." For one woman, this awkward situation comes in the form of a necklace. Her ex gave it to her as a birthday present during their three-year relatoinship, and she's since cherished it as her only piece of "nice" jewelry. Despite their amicable breakup, he suddenly wants it back, claiming that it feel "wrong" that she's still wearing it.

So, ladies, when someone gives you a gift, does it always remain yours, no matter what? Or does the breakup change the terms, especially if the item is "meaningful?" I have friends that have tossed every reminder of their ex into a trash bin or donation box and others who proudly wear clothes gifted by former partners with zero guilt. I myself have a pair of funky earrings from an ex that I still wear! There's no right or wrong way to handle these things, but things can get way messier when the giver suddenly decides they want it returned. 

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  • 01

    AITA for keeping an expensive necklace my ex gave me for my birthday, even though they want it back now that we broke up?

    Cheezburger Image 10552582656
    via Jupiterimages from Photo Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    i F23 dated my ex (M24) for 3 years. last year he gave a necklace to me for my birthday... it's this really pretty silver chain
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 03
    with a small opal pendant. i love it honestly. it's the only piece of "nice" jewelry i have and i wore it pretty much every day up until we broke up last month.
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 04
    7
    via MichaelChavous from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    the breakup wasn't messy exactly, just... quiet. like a slow fade. we had a long convo, some tears, decent closure. or so i
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 06
    thought. but now he's texting me saying he wants the necklace back. said it was "a meaningful gift" and it "feels wrong" that i'm still wearing it.
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 07
    idk. it was a gift. for my birthday. not like i took it from his drawer or something. i haven't even responded yet because i feel
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 08
    weird. part of me wants to be petty and say no just on principle, but part of me also doesn't
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 09
    wanna start drama. still, it was mine. was i wrong to keep it? should i give it back even though he gave it to me willingly?
    via u/WittyStarfruit
  • 10
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    via Ivan Samkov from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Notaswordmaster It was a birthday gift, not a engagement gift. keep it
    via u/Notaswordmaster

  • While I think that a gift is a gift, and that this young man has a lot of growing up to do, it could be that this necklace, for him, was some sort of symbol of his commitment. For her, it was just a thoughtful present.

  • 12
    mochipearli nah this dude acting like Jared the Galleria of Exes... sorry bro, once u hand it over it's hers. u don't get to repo a birthday present like it's a leased Honda.
    via u/mochipearli
  • 13
    MintyVibee nothing screams sore loser like trying to repo an opal necklace. at this point she should keep it out of pure spite and accessorize with his audacity.
    via u/MintyVibee
  • 14
    prettylvna Exactly! He's just being a baby. Sell it and buy yourself something even nicer
    via u/prettylvna
  • 15
    casillalater NTA It's probably because he's being cheap and wants to impress the new girl with a gift.
    via u/casillalater
  • 16
    Also imo gifts are unconditional unless it's something like I need grandma's ring back since we broke up.
    via u/casillalater
  • 17
    Legend OfHornzilla Exactlyyy. If he wanted it back, he should've gifted it with a return policy. Birthday gift yours. End of story.
    via u/LegendOfHornzilla
  • 18
    NefariousnessSweet70 Great news!!! Birthday gifts are yours to keep. He can want all he wants but you are entitled to keep the gift.
    via u/NefariousnessSweet70
  • 19
    He may try to take you to court, but there is legal precident that favors the receiver of the gift. Congrats, it's yours.
    via u/NefariousnessSweet70

  • Wow, I never even considered that he might want it back just to regift it! It's totally possible.

  • 20
    Particular-Try5584 No... it was a birthday gift, and it was your birthday. It wasn't a promise ring, engagement ring or a family heirloom...
    via u/Particular-Try5584
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10552582400
    via Rajaa alamoudi from Scopio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    Tell him to f I off. Nicely if you must. But that's the message. "I am not giving back my birthday gifts, no. Let's not do this, let's not reduce the relationship to bitter
    via u/Particular-Try5584
  • 23
    fighting about gifts and small cruelties. Talk to you in a few months, years or random run into somewhere around time... when we've both moved on."
    via u/Particular-Try5584
  • 24
    And then block him. You don't need that in your life.
    via u/Particular-Try5584
  • 25
    Cherisluck Even if it was any of those things, it was gifted to her. With the exception of an engagement ring, she's entitled to keep it. In the case of an engagement ring, if he broke it off she's still entitled to keep it.
    via u/Cherisluck
  • 26
    NTA basicdesires think it's rather cheap of him to ask for the return of a gift he made to you a year ago. Not something you asked him to
    via u/basicdesires
  • 27
    provide you with during the course of your relationship, but a gift. He might want to look the definition of 'gift' up somewhere, it might surprise him. Or not.
    via u/basicdesires
  • 28
    Bastet79 NTA. In German we have a rhyme (unfortunately it doesn't work in English): given is given and to take it back is theft.
    via u/Bastet79

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boyfriend relationship advice break up toxic relationships girlfriend couples exes entitled breakup red flag toxic relationship entitled people
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